


Light & Shadow

by babydolljones1104



Series: Shadow & Light [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Dark Past, F/M, Hawkins National Laboratory, Lab Experiment, POV First Person, Past Child Abuse, Present Tense, Science Fiction, Sequel, Stranger Things 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26718916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydolljones1104/pseuds/babydolljones1104
Summary: When Lux arrived in Hawkins seven months ago, she had one goal. She needed to find 011. Lux ended up finding much more than she bargained for when she found not only her sister, but a family and friends as well. She also found a gate to another world that had been opened by her sister the year prior. But the Gate has been closed, and Lux, El, and their friends are trying to get on with their lives.Lux isn't only trying to move on from the otherworldly events in November. She's also trying to move on from her relationship with Billy Hargrove, who turned out to be nothing like she thought. Since breaking up him, they've spoken twice. Once in December and once in February. Both conversations went horribly. Lux has been trying to ignore her feelings for Billy, but when they manage to have a conversation that doesn’t end in complete disaster, Lux knows that things between her and Billy are far from over.That all changes when Lux discovers that the worst has happened. The Mind Flayer is back, Billy is the new host, and he won’t stop until El is dead.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Original Character(s), Billy Hargrove/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Shadow & Light [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748227
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

_June 24, 1985_

I lay back in my lounge chair, savoring the warmth of the sun on my face. With my sunglasses on and my eyes closed, I’m so relaxed that I could probably fall asleep even with the sound of all the kids playing in the pool. But my moment of relaxation quickly ends when I sense a shadow moving in front of me.

“You know,” A familiar voice begins. “The pool has been open for a month now, and even though you’re here all the time, I haven’t seen you get in the water even once.”

I don’t have to open my eyes to know that Billy is standing in front of me.

My only response is, “You’re blocking my light.” I’ve had two conversations with Billy since breaking up with him. One in December and one in February. To say that our conversation in February went horribly would be putting it lightly. Not that the one we had in December was much better.

“If you don’t know how to swim, I offer private lessons,” Billy tells me.

“I know how to swim,” I snap. Even though I would love to go swimming, I know that I can’t. The possibility of me losing control of my powers, as low as that is, is enough to keep me out of the water.

He sits down at the edge of my chair, barely giving me time to move my feet out of the way. He scans me up and down before saying, "You look good."

"Glad to know you approve," I say flatly.

"It's been a while since we talked, and since the last couple of times we did didn't go so well, I thought I'd try saying something nice. Besides, most girls would kill to have me tell them they're hot."

I roll my eyes.

“You know it’s true.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You rolled your eyes.”

“You can’t even see my eyes,” I argue.

“I know you, Lux.”

I hate knowing just how well Billy knows me. I hate knowing that I had let him get so close to me so fast. I hate knowing that in less than two weeks it all fell apart. And I hate that after everything, even after that awful conversation in February, I still care about him. But all I say is, “Are we done here?”

“You never gave me an answer about those private lessons. I’ve been told I’m an excellent teacher.”

I can’t help laughing a bit as I respond, “I bet you offer all the girls private lessons.”

“Only the good-looking ones.”

“Of course.”

Billy smirks. “Come on, Lux. I’ll help you get really w-”

"I swear to god, if you say what I think you're going to, I will smack you so hard."

He grins. “You promise?”

Before I can think of a comeback, one of the lifeguards yells, “Hargrove! Get back to work!”

Billy sighs in annoyance. “I have to go.” He stares at me for a second before adding, “If you decide to take me up on my offer, you know where to find me.”

I roll my eyes as I watch him walk away. No matter how I feel about him, I can’t deny that he keeps things interesting.

When I get home that night, the radio is on in El’s and my room, and Hopper is sitting in the living room looking very pissed off. “Mike’s here?” I ask.

Hopper glares at me. “It’s not funny.”

“It kind of is. Do you know how much worse it could be?” I don’t mention that I was doing a lot more than just kissing guys when I was fourteen.

“Don’t remind me,” He mutters.

I get a soda out of the fridge before sitting down on the couch.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“No.” I already know what he’s going to ask.

“Just real quick. Just go in there for a second and pretend that you’re looking for something.”

“I am not your spy.”

“Is the door at least open three inches?”

I glance at the bedroom door. I’m a horrible judge of distance, but it looks good enough to me, so I nod.

“They’re always in there,” Hopper says. “He’s here every damn day. And it’s been all day long since summer started.”

“Yeah, I know. I live here too. And that’s my room. I can’t even go in my own room.”

“You can, you just won’t.”

I shrug. “Because I’m not playing spy for you. Besides, the tv is out here and that’s all I care about.”

“You can make him leave,” Hopper tells me. “Like you said, that’s your room. You can kick Mike out.”

“I’m not going to.” I look at Hopper as I go on, “It’s eight o’clock. He’ll be gone in an hour. Stop being such a baby.”

Hopper lets out a frustrated sigh, but he stops complaining.

Mike leaves at nine, and I go into the bedroom El and I share. El turns down the radio and asks me, “How was the pool?”

“It was all right.” I can’t stop thinking about my conversation with Billy, though. It wasn’t anything significant, but for some reason, I’ve been replaying it in my head all day.

“Did you go in?”

“No.”

“You have control of your powers,” El reminds me.

I sit down on my bed as I say, “It’s not that simple.”

“It is.”

I know she’s right and that I’m just overcomplicating things. I’ve had control of my powers for as long as I can remember. But I still don’t want to take the chance.

We stay up talking for hours like we’re normal sisters instead of a couple of girls who spent most of their lives being experimented on in a government lab. It’s such an ordinary thing to do, and I love it. My entire life, even after escaping the Lab, I craved a normal life. And living here with El and Hopper is the closest my life has ever come to being normal. I kind of wish my life could stay like this forever.

It’s past midnight when we finally go to bed, and even though it’s the last thing I want to admit, I’m still thinking about my conversation with Billy earlier. I can’t figure out why, but then the realization suddenly hits me.

I’m not over Billy.


	2. Chapter 2

_June 25, 1985_

When Steve picks me up for work on Tuesday morning, the first words out of my mouth are, “Guess who finally decided to talk to me at the pool yesterday.”

Steve’s only response is, “What did he want?”

“Don’t worry, he wasn’t mean to me.” I laugh flatly. “In fact, he was kind enough to offer me private _swimming lessons.”_

“Of course he did.”

I debate telling Steve what I realized last night. He hates Billy, and given their history, I can’t blame him. But I still feel like Steve is way too overprotective of me when it comes to Billy. “I don’t think I’m over him,” I say slowly.

“Are you seriously just figuring that out?”

I can only shrug.

“Lux, I know that you still like him for some reason, but after what he said to you in February-”

"I don't need a reminder," I say quickly. "I think about it all the time. Besides, you don’t need to worry about me. I can handle myself.”

“You said that I’m supposed to tell you when you’re making a bad decision,” Steve reminds me.

“Well, I’m not making a bad decision,” I argue. “I mean, I still like him, but we’re done. Getting back together with Billy would be a horrible idea.” I know that. I do. The problem is, I’m really good at doing things that I know I shouldn’t do.

“Can we go to Hotdog on a Stick?” I ask Steve as we walk into the mall.

“Are you forgetting that we’re here to work?”

“No, but I haven’t eaten yet today. Do you want to have to deal with me for the next eight hours knowing that I haven’t eaten?”

“It’s not like eating is going to make you any nicer.”

“Come on, we have ten minutes before our shift starts.”

Steve sighs. “Fine.”

I’m still eating when we walk into the back room at Scoops Ahoy a few minutes later.

Our coworker Robin is sitting in the back, and she says to me, “You walked in here already breaking two rules. That must be a new record.”

I throw the stick in the trash. We’re not supposed to eat back here, but I tell Robin, “There was only one bite left. It barely counts.” The second rule I broke is the rule where I’m supposed to have my hair tied back. Apparently my hair is long enough to be a health-code violation otherwise. I start braiding my hair as I go on, “And not being allowed to eat in here is a stupid rule. We work in a restaurant.”

“Working is a generous term for what you do,” Steve tells me.

“I work,” I argue. “I do more work than you.”

“If I had to choose which one of you sits around less, it would be Lux,” Robin tells us.

I smirk at Steve.

“I said that you sit around less,” Robin points out. “Not that you do more work.”

“It sounds like the same thing to me,” I say with a shrug. But if I’m being honest, I know that Robin is right.

When it was announced that Starcourt Mall would be opening at the end of May, Steve and I spent weeks filling out applications to almost every store in the mall. Scoops Ahoy was the only place that wanted to hire either of us. On our first day of work, it became clear to me that they made a serious mistake by doing so. Especially when they put us together. First off, Steve and I mess around way too much. Besides that, neither of us have any idea what we’re doing. We’re almost too dumb to figure out how to scoop ice cream, which is basically our only job.

The bell on the counter rings, and since Steve and I don’t start working for another two minutes, Robin is the only one who can serve the customers.

Steve watches her leave, and once we’re alone I ask him, “Why can’t you just admit that you like her?”

He glares at me. This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation. “Because I don’t. She’s not my type at all.”

I met Robin on our first day working here. Steve went to school with her, although he told me he didn’t know her. That didn’t surprise me. Robin is cooler than any of Steve’s friends that I’ve met. “Because she isn’t popular? You’re still living by high school standards. Welcome to the real world, where all that popularity-bullshit doesn’t matter. It’s truly freeing.”

"You have no idea what you’re talking about, you've never been to high school."

I shrug. "Sometimes an outsider's opinion is best. Besides, I’ve watched enough John Hughes movies to know that I never want to go.”

“Well, don’t worry. You didn’t miss much.”

“I feel like I missed out on getting an education,” I reply flatly. “But seriously, we’re best friends. I tell you everything and you can’t even tell me when you like a girl?”

“You overshare, Lux. I have no idea how you manage to keep everything about yourself a secret from most people.”

“I don’t get close to people. You’re the first best friend I’ve ever had.” I shrug as I admit, “You’re the first friend I’ve ever had, really.”

He sighs. “I hate it when you use your shitty past to manipulate me into being nice to you.”

“But it works,” I say with a grin.

Robin comes back then, rolling her eyes.

“Samples?” Steve asks, referring to Lucas’s little sister Erica, who is always in here taking advantage of our free samples.

Robin nods as she drops into her chair.

The bell on the counter rings again and I stand up. “I’ll get it.” And that’s how the next eight hours of my life go.

When Steve and I are walking through the parking lot after our shift, he asks me, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing.” I undo my braid as I add, “I’ll probably just spend the day watching tv.” I look at him. “You know, you get to spend all day with Robin tomorrow.”

Steve glares at me. “Instead of trying to get me together with Robin, why don’t you try finding a boyfriend?”

“Because I don’t want one. And even if I did, I only know three guys my age in Hawkins. You, Billy, and Jonathan.”

“Some of my friends have asked about you.”

“You told me that in December.”

“Yeah, and they still haven’t stopped.”

“Have you told them that I am a complete mess?”

“To be fair, it’s not your personality they’re interested in.”

“How charming,” I mutter. “But if Robin isn’t your type, then I don’t think that I’d be the type that any of your friends want.”

“What happened to living in the real world with no labels?”

“If you’re still living in the high school world, then I have no doubt that your friends are too.” I don’t mention the fact that most of Steve’s friends I’ve met are total douchebags anyway.

Steve sounds bitter when he says, “Not really. They’re all getting ready to leave for college.”

“You could always apply again next year, right?”

“Yeah, but what’s the point? Every single place I applied to rejected me. Why would anywhere else be different?”

I don’t say anything. To be honest, I don’t know what it’s like to have plans or hopes for something and then have it not work out. I’ve never thought about the future. In the Lab, every day was the same, so I never bothered to think about the future. And once I escaped, I was so focused on surviving day-to-day that I didn’t have time to think about what I wanted in the future.

Even now, I’m still worried that something bad is going to happen and everything good that’s happened in the past seven months is going to be taken away from me. So, I try not to think about the future.

“Do you want to go do something?” Steve asks.

It’s not nine o’clock yet, which means that Mike is still at my place. So I say, “I could go for some pizza.”


	3. Author's Note

I know everyone probably thought this was an update, and I'm sorry! But I'm posting this on all my stories because I know it's been a while since I've updated most of them, and I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm not abandoning any of my stories.  
I have multiple chronic illnesses, and I was somehow lucky enough to spend most of the year we've been in a world-wide pandemic without too many health issues. Then in October all of my illnesses decided to act up at once, and it got even worse in November. I'm finally starting to feel better (although that could change), so I'm hoping that I'll be able to get back to my writing soon!


	4. Chapter 3

Steve and I have been at the pizza place for a few minutes when Max and Lucas come in. When they come over to say hi, I tell them, “You guys should sit with us.”

Steve glares at me, and I shoot him a look of my own. He is way too mean to the kids sometimes.

“Did you guys just get off work?” Max asks, pointing at our uniforms.

“I wouldn’t wear this out in public otherwise,” I answer.

“At least you don’t have to wear it tomorrow,” Steve mutters.

“You should call in sick,” I tell him. “It’s just one day.”

“Try telling that to my dad.”

“He won’t find out if you don’t tell him. Besides, if you call in sick, then we could go do something fun.” I shrug as I add, “After sleeping until noon, of course.”

“I’m not going to pretend to be sick.”

“Fine. Go be miserable at work tomorrow.”

“You should go to work tomorrow,” Lucas tells Steve. “There’s a movie we want to see.”

Steve glares at me and I say, “Sorry.” I know that the movie thing is kind of my fault.

Ok, it’s completely my fault.

A few days after we started working at Scoops Ahoy, I got bored while I was on my break and decided to wander through the hallways they use for deliveries. I found out that you could easily sneak into the movie theatre that way and ended up telling everyone that I know, which in my defense, isn’t that many people. A few days later, Mike, Max, Lucas, and Will started showing up while Steve and I were at work, asking us to sneak them in. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, but Steve is paranoid about getting fired.

He’s still glaring at me when he says, “You better not ask me to sneak you in again tomorrow.”

Last Wednesday, Nancy had the night off and Jonathan was working, so she and I went to the movies. Steve is never happy when the kids show up and ask us to sneak them in, and he definitely wasn’t happy when _I_ asked him to sneak us in. I ask him, “Why would we pay for the movies when I know how to get in for free?”

“Because we could both get fired.”

“If we had gotten caught, we wouldn’t have said that you helped us.” I gesture to Max and Lucas as I add, “And they know better, too.”

“Yeah, we’re not stupid,” Max tells him. Then she asks me, “You usually go to the pool on your days off, right?”

I sigh. “Let me guess, you talked to your brother?”

“He asked me about you last night. He asked if I’ve talked to you lately.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I said no. I know you want nothing to do with him.” She pauses, looking like she wants to say something else.

“What is it?” I ask.

“It’s just something Billy said.”

“I’m sure this is going to be good,” I mutter.

Max carefully tells me, “Billy asked if you said anything to me about him in March.”

March… The day we had that conversation was the last day of February.

“Well, I talked to him around then. Here, actually.”

“What happened?”

“We talked a bit. He acted like a complete jerk. Nothing unusual.” I shrug as I add, “I didn’t think it was worth mentioning.”

Steve, thankfully, keeps his mouth shut.

“Seriously,” I go on. “It’s not a big deal. I’m not sure why he’d bring it up.” Then, wanting to change the subject before anyone can ask me anything else, I ask, “So, what movie are you guys going to see tomorrow?”

Max and Lucas start talking about the movie they’re all going to see tomorrow, and nobody brings up the subject of Billy again.

Most of the drive back to my place is silent, other than the radio quietly playing. I know that Steve wants to ask me about my conversation with Max, but I’m not about to offer any information on my own.

Finally, he asks, “How come you won’t tell anyone about what happened?”

I know that he’s talking about my conversation with Billy in February, and I say, “I have. I told you.”

“I’m the only person you’ve told, and I know that if I hadn’t seen you two talking, you wouldn’t have told even me.”

I can’t argue with that. He’s right. “Do you know why he got mad?” I ask after a moment.

“No, but it doesn’t matter.”

Again, Steve is right. But I still tell him, “Before we met you and Dustin at the junkyard in November, Lucas and I helped Max sneak out. I distracted Billy while Lucas convinced Max to come with us. Billy got in a lot of trouble when his dad found out that Max was gone.”

“That’s why he got mad at you?”

I nod. “When he told me about how much trouble he got in, I told him it was my fault. I didn’t mean to, it just sort of came out.”

Steve is quiet for a moment before telling me, “That doesn’t make what he said ok.”

“Nothing ever happened,” I argue. “It’s fine.”

“Lux, he told you that he was going to try to get you sent back to the Lab.”

“But he didn’t.”

“You were paranoid about it for months afterward.”

I was, but… “I’m not anymore,” I say honestly. “He was mad, and I get it. He got in a lot of trouble with his dad.”

“A lot of people have dads who are assholes. That doesn’t mean-”

“His dad is worse. His dad is _so_ much worse.”

Steve stares at me, putting things together. “He came to school the next day with a black eye. I don’t remember giving him that.”

I know what he’s asking, and it takes me a moment to answer, “You didn’t.”

“Look, I get why you feel guilty,” He says after a moment. “But that doesn’t make what he said ok.”

I don’t say anything, and for a few minutes, Steve leaves me alone. But then he asks, “Can I ask you something?”

“I’m pretty sure you just did,” I respond. When he glares at me, I say, “Fine. What?”

“You’ve told me about your boyfriends in Chicago, and how when they started treating you like shit you had no problem walking away from them.”

“So?”

“Why is it different with him? Why can’t you walk away from him?”

“I’ve talked to Billy three times since breaking up with him,” I point out. “And every time I have talked to him was when he came to me.”

“You always make excuses for him, though. And you’ve given him more chances than he deserves-”

“One,” I correct. “Just the one chance in February. We might have had a semi-civil conversation yesterday, but it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not stupid enough to think that him being nice to me means that he’s changed.” I pause before saying, “Things with Billy aren’t black and white. There’s a lot he’s told me that makes things complicated. I can’t just write him off as a bad person.”

“You’ve had bad things happen to you too. I mean, some of the things you’ve told me about the Lab and Chicago… I don’t know how anyone could survive all that.”

“I’m not saying he’s blameless. Not at all. If he was just another guy in Chicago who I knew nothing about, it would be different. I’d be able to make myself forget that he exists. But knowing things makes you invested.”

“I know you want to help him, Lux, but some people can’t be helped.”

Even though I know it isn’t going to help anything, I can’t stop myself from asking, “How much of this is because you care about _me?”_

“What do you mean?”

“Is this all because I’m your friend and you don’t want me to get hurt, or is this because you hate Billy?"

"Look, you're my best friend-"

"That's not what I asked."

“I don’t want to see you get hurt,” Steve tells me.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

Even though he doesn’t say it, we both know that’s a lie. I’m a mess.

And honestly, even though I thought that living with Hopper and El and having a stable life would help me, it hasn’t. Even though I love my life, there’s still a part of me that’s having trouble adjusting to a normal life.

I think that the biggest difference between my life in Chicago and my life in Hawkins is that here, I have people who care about me. And even though I’m glad that I do, I have to admit that there’s a part of me that isn’t used to it yet. As ungrateful as it sounds, it sometimes feels suffocating. Sometimes I miss being alone. Sometimes I miss being able to go wherever I want or do whatever I want without anyone questioning me about it.

In Chicago, nobody worried about me or what I did. It made things easier. Especially because when no one cared about me, I didn’t have to care about anyone else.

In Chicago, I didn’t have to care about losing anything or anyone, because I had nothing to lose.


End file.
